Changing seasons, finding creativity and everything in between

The days have slowly started getting longer. The cold hasn’t gone away yet. There are days which remind me that Winter hasn’t completely gone away. But then there are days when the sun shines bright and the temperatures are closer to double digits than to zero and it feels good. Not that I haven’t appreciated winter, but sometimes when things don’t seem so good, a little bit of sunshine always helps! I have been in a kind of rut in the last few weeks and embracing the changing seasons has certainly helped me find my creativity.

It has been a while since I last wrote here. I have been constantly trying to be more regular here and then life gets in the way. But of late, I also feel like I have lost the ability to create something good. I have struggled to get words out on the days that I have tried to write. But sometimes just the willingness to write isn’t enough. Putting the many thoughts in my head into something coherent takes effort.

January was filled with hope and enthusiasm and new energy – the kind which only the beginning of the new year can bring. I read a lot of books, I travelled solo for the first time to a new country, I wrote a few blogposts and I tried a few new things. But February felt like it went by in blur- not having read much, not having written anything for the blog, not having done much at least when it comes to my creative pursuits. I started a 100 day poetry project towards the end of February and I couldn’t sustain it after a few days. I don’t like giving up and so this made me feel even worse! March also seems to have gone that way. I barely went on any trips, barely wrote anything and perhaps read a little.

I like writing. I like creating some thing of my own. When I am able to do that, I am happy. It fills me with a sense of purpose and having created something of my own makes me feel accomplished. Even on days that are really not good, if I can manage to create something of my own, that becomes my highlight of the day and I still take that day as a day well spent! But with posting on the blog here and continuing the poetry project, it seemed difficult. I have written quite a few poems but this time every line felt like it took a lot of effort. It felt like something was trapped, struggling to come in and even when it came out, it was almost lifeless. And so I felt it easier to give up.

But then I feel a part of me is missing without these things I so like to create. I may not be good but doing something that brings me joy shouldn’t hurt anyone. So I struggle through – writing random things and deleting, looking for ideas and mostly drawing a blank.

But I think that the seasons play a role too! February has been mostly bleak and rainy, with cloudy days and starless nights. But now in March, I see a change. The air is still heavy. The sky is still grey with looming clouds reminding me that rainy days are still here. There are still days when there is no sun. The trees still bereft of leaves make the whole thing more gloomy. But then I look down at the earth. The signs of spring are there to see. The early spring flowers erupt from the earth and are already making nature more colourful. The blossoms are slowly blooming. And it all suddenly feels more beautiful. The birds chirp ,singing their tunes like they would on a bright, sunny day. Perhaps all they needed was a little bit of colour. Perhaps all we need is also a little, but we expect a lot more.

For someone like me who has lived most of my life where the change of seasons isn’t very drastic, this year of experiencing the changing seasons has been a wonderful learning. Perhaps sometimes it is okay to take things slow. It is perhaps okay to not create and just rest for a while. Perhaps it is okay to be lazy sometimes and not force myself do something. And then perhaps creativity will slowly spring forth. Like those little buds of crocuses bursting out of the earth. Perhaps all I need is a little nudge, a little bit of encouragement and a little bit of appreciation!

I recently read “Steal Like an Artist” by Austin Kleon which is about being creative and this quote from the book really resonated with me.

Creative people need time to just sit around and do nothing

Austin Kleon, Steal Like an Artist- 10 things nobody told you about being creative

I am hoping that I can be more creative and give more time and attention to the things that matter to me, the things that make me happy. On an afterthought, not all of the last few weeks were bad. I tried baking brownies for the first time and they turned out okay! I also recorded a cover of the song “Flowers” for my Youtube channel and I am happy with the way it turned out. And I tried playing Squash for the first time and it was fun! Did I tell that all of these three things were on the same day? 😀

What do you do when you can’t seem to find your creative energy?