On languishing, writing and perhaps creating a morning routine

I have a zillion things running in my mind, yet when it comes to writing something down words evade me. I am staring at the blank screen wondering what to write. Of late I haven’t written much on the blog- by that I mean posts that aren’t my reading wrap ups. My creative muscles seem to be taking a really long rest. Or I’m not sure if they are dead considering I haven’t exercised them for a while now. But I know I must not give up without trying and so I try to write.

I used to have a fairly decent writing routine before the pandemic struck. I would write a post at least once a week. There have been times when I have even written everyday for 100 days. When I think about all of that, I wonder if I am the same person! For the last few months now, I often feel like I’ve been living the same day on repeat. Working from home has now meant the boundaries between work and personal time seem to have blurred. And after looking at the screen for long, long hours, I don’t have it in me to spend some more time in front of the computer writing. Also, the pandemic and the constant anxiety that comes with it, makes me want to do nothing. I know I’m not alone.

Last week, I watched a video that spoke exactly about the things that I was feeling and there was a term for it- languishing. This New York Times article explains it well .

I don’t want to delve more into what it means to be languishing but I’m trying my best to overcome this feeling. I don’t think there is a solution that fits everyone. Getting into a routine and doing things that one enjoys are the things that usually help in getting out of a rut. And trust me, I am trying!

There are so many things that I want to do but I haven’t gotten around to doing a lot of them. So I thought a routine would help. Since the last few days I have been trying to build a routine where I try to make time for things that I enjoy doing. Have I been successful in sticking to a routine? Far from it. Though on most weekends I try to make a conscious effort to ensure that I get back to my routine and that I start afresh each Monday, my routine or what is left of it often goes for a toss on Monday evenings because the end of my work day is often never in sight. 

But then I’ll try again. I have loved the promise that each morning offers. Also, I have realized that if there is something that I want to do that day, it is better that I do it in the morning. I love the quiet feeling of the morning, the cool morning air and the promise of something new. But mornings are usually busy – there are a zillion chores to finish before sitting down for work, there is that little bit of exercise that I must get before my physical health suffers more because of being dormant for most of the day. It is difficult, but I try.

If I had to design my perfect morning routine, it would definitely have some prayer and meditation, reading, writing, maybe practice music or doing something creative, go on a long walk or some form of exercise and then I’d just make some breakfast and enjoy it before having to deal with work. But that I think is too much to ask for considering all the things that need to be done. So for now, maybe I’ll comfort myself with getting some reading done on a few days and writing on others and practicing music on some others and on other days just doing nothing and enjoying the solitude that mornings offer on some others. Maybe every little thing matters. 

Like a lot of things in life, maybe we can’t do it all at once. We have to take little steps. We have to divide and conquer. And sometimes despite trying and failing, maybe we need to be grateful that we at least got to try and learn something from our failures. Lately I’ve been mulling on the thought that sometimes things are just not under my control and all I can do is adapt to the things that are not in my control. Because sometimes adapting is easier than fighting the lack of control. 

So there is my little bit about languishing, writing and perhaps creating a morning routine. I know this post isn’t about anything in particular, but I just wanted to write. And I know if I think more about this, I’ll never end up posting this. So now as I watch the squirrels run around and the birds hop from one branch to another on the lone tree in front of my house, I feel grateful that I did manage to write something. 

In the last few weeks I have been trying to be regular on Bookstagram. Please follow me there if you aren’t already. And I also managed to make this cover of the song Memories and put it up on Youtube. Please listen to it if you can.

How are you doing? What is your way of getting out of a rut? What would you perfect morning routine look like? Let me know.