Outside my window #WordsMatter
I woke up with a start as I realized that I went back to sleep again after the alarm had gone off. Worried that I’d be late, I hurried and got out of my bed. I craved for the rays of the morning sun to wake me up and the fresh morning breeze to make me feel more alive. But that seemed to have become a thing of the past. I looked at my window which was now closed to stop the dust getting inside the house. So all that was around me was the darkness, the noise and the air that smells of cement. It made me feel claustrophobic. The rest of the day would also be spent in the confines of the office without knowing what was happening outside -sunshine or rain, it didn’t really make a difference.
This isn’t how I had envisioned my days. I struggle to deal with it all. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to wake up everyday and face the reality that doesn’t inspire me to give my best. It is going to be the same thing all over again- that same machine like existence. Wake up, cook, clean, get dressed to go to work, work all day, come back late, cook, eat and go to sleep. Repeat the same all over again every single day. This wasn’t what I wanted.
All I wanted was to wake up to the sound of the chatter of the birds, the rustle of the leaves as the gentle morning breeze blows bringing a sense of calm as the rays of the morning sun provide that warmth of happiness. I’d wished to sit surrounded by nature while I did my work – I know that is a little too much to ask for. But that didn’t stop me from wishing for what I wanted.
I felt gloomy with each passing day as I longed to be in a place where I could eagerly wait to look outside my window. The darkness made me feel restricted as I craved for my daily dose of morning sunshine. I knew that I needed an escape – an escape from the darkness, an escape from the monotony of daily life. I knew I needed an escape -even a temporary escape would do. And when that opportunity presented itself, I jumped and grabbed that opportunity with both hands. I couldn’t let go and I wouldn’t let go.
I sit now gazing outside my window as the train moves, taking me to a different place. Slowly the city makes way for the countryside and I keep looking out wondering about people’s stories, about the past and present. The wind in my hair gives me a sense of freedom. I feel inspired to write a lot of things inspired by it all. I look outside trying to catch a glimpse of the flowing river as we pass by. At the end of the journey, I’ll be in a different place. Maybe I’ll wake up to rays of the morning sun, maybe I’ll just look outside my window and be amazed by the nature around me. There’s hope for interesting possibilities and that makes me enthusiastic.
This was what I needed -hope and enthusiasm which were taken away from me by the darkness. But wait, that is not entirely true. I’d always concentrated on the darkness, that I had forgotten to see that tiny beam of light coming through the tiny opening of the window. I’d failed to realize the moments that had made me happy, that brought a smile on my face. Those moments had been the sunshine that I had failed to experience because I was caught up on focusing on things that weren’t right. An escape I did need from my daily routine, but even that some happy moments that had made things better for me. Realization dawned over me. There were always things that were going right, there was always something to look forward to – only if I gave things a chance.
With that realization in mind, I look outside savouring every bit of the journey. I forget worrying about every little thing, as I begin to focus on the present, on all that is good. I look outside my window, now filled with new energy and enthusiasm for life.
I received this tag from Ramya at Me Otherwise. It’s my pleasure to pass on this tag to Balaka at Trina Looks Back. There are 47 of us on this Blog Hop and it will be spread over 3 days – 2, 3, 4 August. Do follow the #WordsMatter Blog Hop and prepare to be surprised!