#AtoZChallenge : Schwellenangst
The rays of the morning sun combined with the heat of summer didn’t let her sleep. It wasn’t like she’d slept well that night for there were things running in the back of her mind. She tossed and turned on her bed waiting for sleep or a sense of calm to come over. But neither came by and she only became restless. Not knowing what else to do, she got out of the bed, brushed her teeth, put on her walking shoes and set off for a walk.
Being a Saturday morning, the roads were empty to her liking. She walked towards the park while listening to her favourite songs. The usual bunch of morning walkers were already there but there was no one that she knew which was what she really wanted. She walked as her mind kept drifting to the decisions she had to make.
Decisions were never easy. With every decision there was some comprise to be made, some risk to be taken. But a decision had to be made. It wasn’t something that could be pushed for later for it had already been too late. There was a dream that she always had and that was the dream that she wanted to chase. She’d waited long for the right time, but that right time never came until she realized there would never be a right time if she never started. Life so far had its own set of good and bad and now she’d grown comfortable with the life that she was now leading. But there was the thought of not wandering along the path of her dreams would bring along a feeling of discomfort.
She knew what she had to do for she had planned it all along. She had listed the pros and cons but this decision couldn’t be based just on facts and figures- it needed instinct, it needed a resounding “Yes” from her. It was that fear of starting something new that her stopped her all along. They also had a word for it in German – Schwellenangst.
Maybe it was the fresh air that brought along with it a sense of calm, she’d made up her mind. She didn’t want any regrets and she knew that is she didn’t take this step now, she never would. It was now or never. She pulled out her phone and glanced at the email that she’d typed long ago but was lying in the drafts for she had never made up her mind to hit send. Now was the time. She pressed “Send”.
The fear of beginning something new was now overcome by the joy of choosing to follow her dream.
Schwellenangst : Fear of crossing a threshold to embark on something new
I’m participating in the A to Z Challenge again this year. This is my third time participating in the challenge. I’m going with the theme of “Rare, unusual and beautiful words from various languages”
I’ve often suffered from acute Schwellenangst 🙂
Its a fear. and one must overcome it , if one seeks greater pastures.
Such a beautiful word with an even beautiful meaning. I’ve been there a million times before, and have always survived.
Again a word i had no idea about but seem so familiar with. I have felt this emotion this doubt time and again too.
Studio Ghibli: Favorite Movies
Literally my life story right now, I have to say.