#AtoZChallenge : Nepenthe
The clock struck 7 and the Church bells rang too. I was kneeling down, with my arms folded in prayer. Though my knees hurt, I kept on praying for I knew you needed my prayers. I was led into another room. There was sorrow written on everyone’s face and it had been so for a few days now. Silence. And more silence. No one spoke a word and I wondered what was happening. I didn’t know if I should speak up because I didn’t know what to ask.
I was hugged. Not the brief one of greeting or parting, but the one that spoke of shared grief. Amidst controlled sobs, those words were spoken.
“It is over.”
My world came crashing down. That tiny flicker of hope that I had held on to was now gone. All that remained was reality. It was reality that seemed too harsh to be true. Tears well up in my eyes and I ran away to a place where I could be alone. I did’t know how to deal with sorrow so deep. I didn’t realize was death was until that moment. The fact that I could never meet you again, that you’d never be there when I needed you was too hard for my nine year old mind to process. I remembered the last conversation that we had. But I could never really bid you goodbye for I always expected you to return. Why did you have to leave me?
It has been a while now – a few years to be precise. But the pain has still remained. They say time heals. But it doesn’t. The pain is always there, you just get used to it.
I know I need to find my nepenthe. But the pain is too hard to forget and memories are too strong to let go.
Nepenthe : anything that causes forgetfulness of sorrow
Origin : Greek
I’m participating in the A to Z Challenge again this year. This is my third time participating in the challenge. I’m going with the theme of “Rare, unusual and beautiful words from various languages”