#AtoZChallenge : Gigil
There are some things that become a must in your daily routine – things that you should do. There are things without which your day is incomplete. But there are things you do not have but can only see from a distance and feel glad about. You were that to me. Each of my days was incomplete without you.
The sound of your laughter was music to my ears. You brought joy into my otherwise miserable life. The smile on your face, brought a smile on mine too. It had become a part of my routine now – ever since I found out where you lived. I tried finishing my work early inside the house so that I could be outside the house when you got out of your house and were in the lawn. Those were the best moments of the day for me because that was the only time that I got to spend with you. It took me a while to find you because all that I’d seen of you before this was that day in the hospital.
That day in the hospital was the one I could never forget. It was the day when we first met for it was the day you were born. I had a lot on my mind that day. I had questions for which I had no answers, problems for which I had no solutions. The pain, the worries all disappeared when I held you. You were so tiny -never had I seen anything so fragile yet so beautiful. You deserved better. I knew that you deserved a good life. But could I give that you? I knew that I couldn’t.
As I watch you play now, running around on those two tiny feet, I know I made the right choice. I could give you all the love in the world, but the world would still look down upon you. The person you now call your father had a request for me the day you were born. He’d lost his child even before the child could come into the world. He didn’t want to lose his wife as well. I wanted only the best for you. It was difficult for me to let you go but it was all out of love.
I still love you and I always will. Even though you do not know of my existence, I will keep loving you. But if I had a wish, I’d wish to hold you tight, squeeze you with all the love that I want to give you and would never let you go. Gigil.
If only wishes could always be granted!
Gigil : the irresistible urge to squeeze someone because you love them
Origin : Filipino
Pin this post!
I’m participating in the A to Z Challenge again this year. This is my third time participating in the challenge. I’m going with the theme of “Rare, unusual and beautiful words from various languages” .