It is a beautiful summer morning. The sky is blue with white fluffy clouds while the sun shines brightly. It isn’t too hot. With the cool wind that blows, the weather is just perfect. There is no sign of the fact that there was a thunderstorm the previous night. If only I could be as calm with the storm that’s raging in my mind. In this beautiful weather, I sit back to think about life. Ever so slowly two words keep coming to my mind – “What if?”
What if my life wasn’t like this? What if I didn’t have to do this? What if I’d chosen something else then?What if I’d stood up for my choices? Would I be happier? Would things turn out to be perfect? What if I could know?
When we think of our life, we think in a series of what ifs – some question our decisions and others question the things in life that weren’t in our hands. But one thing is certain, the what ifs decide the course of our lives and most of the time, we have no way of knowing how things would have turned out if they hadn’t turned out the way they did. The things that we decide leave us with regrets because we feel responsible for them. Personally, I’ve faced a lot of such situations – situations that make me ask “Why me?” and then make me wonder “What if”
The one feeling that is mostly prominent after a series of what ifs is regret. We live with regrets that are often too difficult carry. Sometimes we regret the choices we made and sometimes we regret the choices we didn’t make. But most of the time when we ask ourselves “What if”, we often think that the choice that we didn’t make would have led to a happier ending. But what do we know? It may have turned out to be better than our current situation or maybe worse.
But do you know what’s worse?
There are things in life we can’t change. There are times that we now can’t go back to. No matter how many “What ifs” we ask, the past will never change. But the burden of regret will weigh us down. The mistakes you made cannot be undone but you can correct them, you can learn from them.
So what if you didn’t stand up for yourself earlier, the time is now. What if life has been harsh to you so far, may be that’s the way to make you stronger. Regrets don’t change the past or make the present better, they just slow you down. Though it seems unfair, some times you just have to accept things the way they are.If you’ve to make amends, make them now. If we would all consciously try to make things better now instead of worrying about the baggage of the past, we wouldn’t ask “what ifs” of regret. Let out “what ifs” be the ones that inspire us and motivate us to become better rather than leaving us with regrets.
Linking this to Monday Musings at Everyday Gyaan.
I am very guilty of this. Even last night, a whole lot of ‘what if’ regrets were just eating my head up… need to give it a positive spin
Yes, that positive spin is much needed. Thanks for dropping by Doc 🙂
Everyone of us go through this – overthinking and ‘what if’ regrets. I’m consciously putting an effort to come out of it. 🙂
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Yes! And it is difficult to come out of it. Thanks for reading 🙂
I dont indulge in the “What if” as it makes me very depressed and also makes me feel inadequate about the choices I have chosen. No – my mantra is to live up my decisions and be happy with them as they are mine!
I hope you find a way out of the What ifs too Reema for the life you are living at present is the one you are meant to be in!!
That’s so awesome! I must learn to do that. Thanks for reading 🙂
Ah the what ifs and the guilt.. It sure does eat into ones head and beats the productivity… Wish I could just brush it all off in one go
Yes! Wish we could all let it go easily!
My what ifs are more about worries about the future; I don’t have too many regrets except one ‘could have’. At the end though, I think if we are not happy with where we currently are, we have choices of making changes or else, accepting it and therefore changing how we feel. It’s a tough one though and I go through phases of wondering myself
It is is good to not have regrets. But sometimes we tend to go back to the past and think about all of it again!
Thank you 🙂
I just love this line, ‘Sometimes we regret the choices we made and sometimes we regret the choices we didn’t make. But most of the time when we ask ourselves “What if”
There are several times that I have been into this mode with the hope to change both the past and the future since one variable impinge on the other. True, there is no guarantee better choices would have made us more more happy. A dichotomy.
Yes, it is a phase we all go through. Sometimes all we need is a sense of acceptance that what has happened has happened.