#AtoZChallenge : Unwritten
Not all days are the same. There are some days when you feel all pumped up, with energy oozing out from your body that you want to conquer the world. Things seem to be going your way and you are very happy about it. And then there are some days when you are depressed. Nothing seems to be going right and everything seems like a mess. My days seem to switch alternatively between good and bad.
Do you remember that I’d started writing because I wanted to be a writer? There are days like today when I haven’t managed to get even a word written. I don’t know how I want my book to progress. There are so many thoughts, so many different scenarios running in my mind but I’m not sure which one I want to choose. The result? A blank page stares at me.
Okay let me be honest with you, it is not the lack of words that bothers me as much as the impending decision that I have to make. Just a couple of days ago, I was given an opportunity, an opportunity that will take me closer to my dreams. Saying to yes to this should have been easy right? But it isn’t.
My present situation, though it is not entirely what I wanted, is manageable. The new offer requires me to move to a different place where I will be far away from home, far from familiar faces. I’ll have to begin all over again. It is going to be difficult.
And what if it doesn’t work out well? What if this was a big mistake? I’m scared. I’m worried. I know that I am good at making bad decisions. Most of the decisions that I have made so far haven’t been so great. Am I ready to risk it all? I don’t know. I’m scared of making mistakes, of things going wrong.
But that opportunity will take me closer to something that I’ve always wanted. The time for me to make a decision is almost over. But if someone asks me what my decision, I draw a blank.
Duh! Making decisions is so hard. It was easier when I was younger and Mom made the decisions for me. I can’t ask her to my decision because I’m old enough to make my own. But on the other hand, I’m not old enough to be wise enough to make my decisions or am I?
May be I need to look beyond the inhibitions and the difficulties and focus on the brighter side. I know that I have to write my own destiny. But I can’t leave it unwritten, can I? May be I must explore the opportunities that life gives me instead of holding myself back fearing the worst.
The blank page stares at me. But this time, I know what I am going to write on it.
I’m participating in the A to Z Challenge and all through April I’ll be writing about the Life and Times of a Twenty something! What are you best memories or expectations from your twenties? Let me know in the comments.