#AtoZChallenge : Unwritten

unwritten

Not all days are the same. There are some days when you feel all pumped up, with energy oozing out from your body that you want to conquer the world. Things seem to be going your way and you are very happy about it. And then there are some days when you are depressed. Nothing seems to be going right and everything seems like a mess. My days seem to switch alternatively between good and bad.

 

Do you remember that I’d started writing because I wanted to be a writer? There are days like today when I haven’t managed to get even a word written. I don’t know how I want my book to progress. There are so many thoughts, so many different scenarios running in my mind but I’m not sure which one I want to choose. The result? A blank page stares at me.

 

Okay let me be honest with you, it is not the lack of words that bothers me as much as the impending decision that I have to make. Just a couple of days ago, I was given an opportunity, an opportunity that will take me closer to my dreams. Saying to yes to this should have been easy right? But it isn’t.

 

My present situation, though it is not entirely what I wanted, is manageable. The new offer requires me to move to a different place where I will be far away from home, far from familiar faces. I’ll have to begin all over again. It is going to be difficult.

 

And what if it doesn’t work out well? What if this was a big mistake? I’m scared. I’m worried. I know that I am good at making bad decisions. Most of the decisions that I have made so far haven’t been so great. Am I ready to risk it all? I don’t know. I’m scared of making mistakes, of things going wrong.

 

But that opportunity will take me closer to something that I’ve always wanted. The time for me to make a decision is almost over. But if someone asks me what my decision, I draw a blank.

 

Duh! Making decisions is so hard. It was easier when I was younger and Mom made the decisions for me. I can’t ask her to my decision because I’m old enough to make my own. But on the other hand, I’m not old enough to be wise enough to make my decisions or am I?

 

May be I need to look beyond the inhibitions and the difficulties and focus on the brighter side. I know that I have to write my own destiny. But I can’t leave it unwritten, can I? May be I must explore the opportunities that life gives me instead of holding myself back fearing the worst.

 

The blank page stares at me. But this time, I know what I am going to write on it.

 

 
I’m participating in the A to Z Challenge and all through April I’ll be writing about the Life and Times of a Twenty something! What are you best memories or expectations from your twenties? Let me know in the comments.
atozchallenge u

16 responses to “#AtoZChallenge : Unwritten”

  1. Modern Gypsy says:

    You said it in the last two paragraphs! Look beyond the difficulties and the confusion. Look to what makes your heart sing. Do that! All the best 🙂

  2. With time, decisions get easier, but never as easy as you want. Do you have someone with whom you can talk about this? Sometimes, saying the words out loud confirm the decision you haven’t made yet.
    If I flipped a coin for you, heads to go, and tails to stay, which would you choose when the coin is in mid-air?

  3. psharmarao says:

    Trying to find the silver lining is all it takes always .
    Here from AtoZ
    http://poojasharmarao.blogspot.in/2017/04/u-ursula-k-le-guin-inspirational.html

  4. Go make bad decisions, if that’s what it takes. Learn the lessons, so that they’re your own, and not hand-me-downs from elders 🙂

  5. Grab the opportunity buddy, people hardly get a chance to fulfill their dream. Trust me rest all will fall in place eventually.

  6. Neha says:

    So true, the fear of making a wrong decision is big, but even bigger is the misery of lost opportunities.
    Upset

  7. All this while, it has been moments of being twenty-something.
    So for a change, allow this late thirty something to give you some insight – chase the dream. You may win or you may lose but you must never die wondering ‘what if’ to something that meant a lot to you.

    A Uruguayan called Jose

  8. What Sreesha said. Exactly what she said.

  9. Sayanti Deb says:

    You don’t need to ask anybody for your decision. just, ask yourself, what do you truly want from your heart. Will you love to take that opportunity or not. Don’t go with the crowd. Whatsoever decision you’ll take from your heart, will be perfect for you.

  10. inquisitivegeet says:

    Like you, I am good at making bad decisions but at the end of the day I feel happy for taking my own stand! You too… just decide and don’t look back… it’s going to be fine!

    Cheers
    BoisterousBee

  11. I think you know what you truly want. Whatever your decision, it will be right for you (and don’t second guess yourself, either way). Good luck!

  12. pratikshya2 says:

    It’s so awesome that you are writing inspired by songs .. great AToZChallenge… Love your words…

  13. Decisions are never easy! But if this opportunity takes you closer to your dreams and like you said it gives you a chance to write your destiny… it probably will be the right one for you… all the best

  14. debscarey says:

    Hindsight isn’t always wonderful. I learned late that there are no right or wrong decisions, only decisions that you can live with. And you can only decide if you can live with them in the now. Make a decision – then live with that decision for a day or two. Are you waking up afraid but excited, or do you feel sick with dread? Let your body – your gut really – let you know what decision you can live with today. I wish you the very best – today and in the future.

    Bunny and the Bloke

  15. Anmol Rawat says:

    Making decisions has never been my strong pursuit as well, but yeah, I guess people are right. It’s hard to adopt but that is the way to go.

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