#AtoZChallenge : Empty

empty girl lost

From the always enthusiastic Alana, I’ve now become a lost Alana!

 

Our lives mostly flow on a fixed course. Yes, there are little diversions that we need to take occasionally but even then it usually follows the same old path. Birth, Education, Job, Marriage, Old Age and then Death. The stages are the same.  We have our dreams, our hopes and our aspirations. But is it enough to make some of those come true? Will I be happy? Will I ever be satisfied?

 

Are you wondering why this twenty something is going on about life and its stages and sounding more like someone who has lived for almost a century and is speaking words of wisdom from experience?

 

There is a reason.

 

When I was a little girl, I wanted to grow up quickly and achieve my dreams. I learned a lot in school and then when it was time to make my career decision, my childhood dreams seemed a little too childish. I had to choose something that was supposed to be the best for me. I chose that and I studied hard and landed a job.

 

I’ve always wanted to live an independent life. Moving to new place and making a new start was on my mind from the time that I was college. The new job did take me to a new place and I had to live independently. For someone who has never stayed away from home for longer than a few days, the prospect of living independently was welcome for the freedom it gave.

 

To sum it all up, I’ve a job that I worked hard through college to get. The job though doesn’t pay me a lot, but it pays me enough to take care of my needs and also some of my wants. I live independently. I’ve friends who are there for me.

 

Yet, I feel empty. I feel like there is something missing but I don’t know what it is. When I look back at my life and think about it, I keep asking myself “What am I doing?”.

 

The mundaneness of my daily life, the repetitiveness of it now seems to create a growing emptiness which I feel is hard to fill.

 

I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know where I’m going. Sadly, I don’t know where to go. Because when I ask myself these questions, all I am greeted with is empty silence.

 

Am I missing on something? Is there is something that I cannot see? Are there any answers to my questions?

 

I’m participating in the #AtoZChallenge . I’ll be writing about the Life and Times of Twenty something.

32 responses to “#AtoZChallenge : Empty”

  1. John Holton says:

    If your life is empty, fill it. Up to now, you’ve always had someone else filling it for you; now you have to find a way to fill it yourself. I don’t mean to go all Dutch uncle on you, but really, you need to find something to live for. I don’t know what that is in your case; only you know, or can find that thing that makes everything worthwhile. Hang in there, Reema. What you’re looking for is out there.

    John Holton
    A to Z Challenge Co-Host

    • Reema D'souza says:

      Hello John, yes it is important to find something that will fill that emptiness. But there is always this phase in life where we feel lost and empty. Thank you for visiting πŸ™‚

  2. Tina Basu says:

    we want the enthusiastic Alana back

  3. sometimes when change is not coming to us, we need to manufacture it ourselves. consider enrolling in a new vocation, stepping out of the usual friend circle… seeking out old friends and reigniting friendships. Trust me. getting stuck in a cycle of nothingness is a lot more dangerous than you can imagine.

    NEW ON Godyears

  4. Rajlakshmi says:

    I totally get this… There was a stage in my life when I felt empty… Like there was something still missing. But I kept myself busy with different hobbies and activities and that feeling slowly went away. Hope Alana finds her way back to happy land soon.

  5. Ah! It’s painful and sad to see a young adult feeling lost. But like everything else, this stage of life is both only a passage and inevitable.

    The “E”nthusiasm will be back soon πŸ™‚

  6. Modern Gypsy says:

    This strikes such a chord! We all go through these phases where life feels empty, until we can fill it up with meaning – which comes from fingering out and doing the things that we are really passionate about. I hope Alana finds her passion and goes back to being enthusiastic Alana!

  7. swathishenoy says:

    You know there are days I feel like this. I feel like there is no meaning to my life. Like I am doing something​ just for the sake of it and not because I love it. Then I remember my hobbies, my passion and things don’t seem that bad!

    Exams

  8. Oh, true that! There is always a phase when you feel empty and disoriented. Do things that you love. Take a walk. Breathe fresh air. Smell the flowers. Or take a nap. Works for me πŸ™‚
    Thailand Travel Stories at Kohl Eyed Me
    26 Indian Dishes at Something’s Cooking

  9. deepagandhi says:

    I guess we all feel this way at some point in our life. We know that it is an empty feeling but do not know what is it that is missing.

  10. I am not my twenties dear but trust me in my thirties too I experience this void this, emptiness many a times which stays for days and then vanishes on its own in the nitty-gritties of life. I often pen on the board in my library, this too shall pass and it helps.
    Truly Yours Roma

    • Reema D'souza says:

      Yes this is something that is not related with any age but something like an occasional visitor, an unwelcome one at that.
      Yes, writing things out will help.

  11. Ramya says:

    The only thing I would like to add is every stage in life is unique and take it the way it is

  12. Kalpanaa says:

    Passion! I’ve found when I’m passionate about something or the other – I don’t feel empty at all. Even though I’m an empty nester – my children have all flown and now I have time for myself.

    Exhaustion #Lexicon of Leaving

  13. I can totally understand this feeling of emptiness – It doesnt let you sleep. I have been there and felt that. May be what you really want is something different and yet you are doing things the world around you wants.
    Launching SIM Organics This April
    *Menaka Bharathi *
    *SimpleIndianMom*

  14. BellyBytes says:

    Well, let me tell you that your life is always empty. There is no magic moment when it fills up. YOu have to decide how you want to fill it and with what.

  15. Suzy says:

    I think we all go through this at some time in our lives. Let life unfold the way it is meant to.

  16. It is a phase most of us got through. And when that phase reached it’s peak point we step out of our comfort zone and look out for more brighter colors in life.

  17. Been there and that feeling about not knowing where we are going I believe is a recurring theme in the course of our lives! Sometimes it is so clear, but the murkiness lingers making you feel Empty!
    Celebrating ‘Women & their work’ all April: E for An Education for all

  18. Only when you feel empty can you feel full again πŸ™‚

    This is something everyone goes through. As someone who has just begun 30, I can safely say that this feeling is a part of thirty somethings too πŸ™‚

  19. SoulMom says:

    Emptiness hounds us ever so often. Filling ourselves with everything that nurtures our soul can help in reducing this hollow feeling. Nice to read your posts. Stay cheerful!

  20. dew cool says:

    I want Alana to be happy very soon
    Thanks for sharing Enjoy to the core -The Second Trimester of Pregnancy

  21. inkingexpressions says:

    I totally relate to this! The time when you hit the bed after a hard day at work and you feel like, do you even know yourself! Is this what you always wanted!! and all that Quarter Life Crisis hits hard!

  22. Shailaja V says:

    The emptiness will come and go. It’s a part of our growth πŸ™‚ I completely get you. We’ve all been there and it’s rough when we go through it. Once the time is right, you’ll emerge from it wiser for the lessons it gave you.

    *Also, totally not what I’d expect from a 20-something, but this is deeply profound and well written.

  23. The question of life’s purpose comes up again and again. I had a thirty-life crisis last year. The emptiness can be filled again as long as you reflect, introspect and figure out what gives you meaning πŸ™‚

    Etheree – Dreary

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