#AtoZChallenge : Empty
From the always enthusiastic Alana, I’ve now become a lost Alana!
Our lives mostly flow on a fixed course. Yes, there are little diversions that we need to take occasionally but even then it usually follows the same old path. Birth, Education, Job, Marriage, Old Age and then Death. The stages are the same. We have our dreams, our hopes and our aspirations. But is it enough to make some of those come true? Will I be happy? Will I ever be satisfied?
Are you wondering why this twenty something is going on about life and its stages and sounding more like someone who has lived for almost a century and is speaking words of wisdom from experience?
There is a reason.
When I was a little girl, I wanted to grow up quickly and achieve my dreams. I learned a lot in school and then when it was time to make my career decision, my childhood dreams seemed a little too childish. I had to choose something that was supposed to be the best for me. I chose that and I studied hard and landed a job.
I’ve always wanted to live an independent life. Moving to new place and making a new start was on my mind from the time that I was college. The new job did take me to a new place and I had to live independently. For someone who has never stayed away from home for longer than a few days, the prospect of living independently was welcome for the freedom it gave.
To sum it all up, I’ve a job that I worked hard through college to get. The job though doesn’t pay me a lot, but it pays me enough to take care of my needs and also some of my wants. I live independently. I’ve friends who are there for me.
Yet, I feel empty. I feel like there is something missing but I don’t know what it is. When I look back at my life and think about it, I keep asking myself “What am I doing?”.
The mundaneness of my daily life, the repetitiveness of it now seems to create a growing emptiness which I feel is hard to fill.
I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know where I’m going. Sadly, I don’t know where to go. Because when I ask myself these questions, all I am greeted with is empty silence.
Am I missing on something? Is there is something that I cannot see? Are there any answers to my questions?
I’m participating in the #AtoZChallenge . I’ll be writing about the Life and Times of Twenty something.