#AtoZChallenge :Dear Future Husband

dear future husband

I looked at myself in the mirror and I liked the way I looked. In fact, for a moment I couldn’t believe that it was my reflection in the mirror. The gown was a beautiful one and it suited me well.  I got into the nicely decorated car and we drove to the church.

 

“Congratulations!”

 

That is what you want to say right? Because you thought that I was getting married? But tell me did I mention anything about me getting married? No!

 

And that is the problem.

 

I don’t know what it is about being a 20 something and getting married, especially if you are an Indian girl. It is like your life is charted out from the time you were born, age is not just a number here my friend. Finish college by 21 or 22 and then get a job. But yeah when you are planning how to live life on your terms, there are terms and conditions that are made which you can’t easily break, because there are emotions that are at an all time high and your ability to respect elders is questioned. Everyone just wants you to get married as soon as possible! Why the hurry? I have no clue!

 

The scenario that I mentioned earlier was that of me being the maid of honour for my cousin on her wedding. I was happy when she asked me to be her maid of honour. I’d get to wear a pretty dress and get a little dolled up. I could have a new profile picture! So many perks of being the maid of honour!  But after the wedding I was really annoyed! How I wish I wouldn’t get so much attention.

 

If the comments that “You are next, you are next” aren’t enough, then there are random people coming and talking to your mom telling her that their blah blah blah’s blah blah blah is of marriageable age (I don’t know what that is) and it would be a good match because the guy apparently is well settled. And if they don’t personally know you then inquiries are made.

 

“Who was the girl who was the maid of honour? What does she do?”

 

None of your business I say!

 

More questions follow.

 

Do you know to cook?
Are the rotis you make perfect ciricles?
Can you manage all the household chores?

 

The list goes on forever!

 

But dear future husband, if you are reading this then let me tell you something. Yes, I know how to cook but not like the master chef that you expect me to be. My rotis may not be perfect circles and there will be times when I put salt instead of sugar. I am not an expert in cooking. Just like you I too spent hours studying for various exams and then making a career. Just like you, I too have dreams, dreams to make it big in life. Do not expect me to manage all the household chores myself because just like you even I have a job to do, a career to make. But that doesn’t mean I am some career minded person who does not care about her family. I do! But to strike that perfect balance isn’t easy and hence I will definitely need your support.  And most importantly I want to get married when I wish to, when I feel like I’m ready. I do not want to get married just because I am of a certain age. I still have a lot of dreams to turn to reality!

 

Dear Future Husband, are you listening? May be Meghan Trainor will tell it to you better 😉

 

I’m participating in the #AtoZChallenge . Join me as I write about the Life and times of a Twenty something.
A to Z Challenge D

36 responses to “#AtoZChallenge :Dear Future Husband”

  1. Tina Basu says:

    Dear Future Husband of Reema – love her for being herself and never try to change that lively smile!

  2. Jos says:

    Everything is fine for me. But salt instead of sugar ? Never going to taste the tea prepared by you first 😛

  3. Being a single, man or a woman, is hard in india. One of the things that transitions age, language, gender, religion, in short, all barriers!!
    But rushing to any relationship, let alone marriage, is the worst thing anyone can do! It’s painful that parents don’t get it.
    One thing, however, holds true that, none of us would be the same person tomorrow. So you can’t look at yourself today and choose a partner but you got to factor in your own changes and take that leap of faith at some point 🙂

  4. Being a human being itself is hard in India. Have gone through this stage. After that also it’s no better. But marry only when you feel like and when you find your that special one.

  5. So true right, that they chart out our whole lives with age being the markers. They just don’t let you be! I’m sending you so many virtual hugs right now.

  6. Kaddu says:

    I am almost forty now, so (Thankfully!) I am considered past the age of marriage by our society. Which is such a relief, I tell you! Hardly anyone pesters me about getting married now! 😛
    Happy AtoZing!
    Chicky @ http://www.mysteriouskaddu.com

  7. lancequadras says:

    Waah… How sweet… Such a clean way of telling the future guy to be ready to split the household chores and responsibilities.. It’s the right thing to say!

  8. Ramya says:

    Hope more men read this and all future husbands do share the load.

  9. swathishenoy says:

    The whole post strikes a chord. And that Dear Future Husband letter, if I were to write one, I would have said exactly the same things! You spoke mine and probably so many other girls’ mind. Well done Reema 🙂

    Doctors and Dentists

  10. RamyaRao says:

    Reema, these are actual words of wisdom. Men these days do understand dreams but household chores is something they need to be trained on. Nevertheless I am sure your future husband has made his notes. 😉

  11. Hehehe I hope your future husband is reading it and am sure he would be already impressed. Age is just a number and it should apply to the marriage scenario as well. In the end you alone have to live a life with your partner and therefore it doesn’t matter if it’s taking time to chose the right one.
    Even materialistic things we buy after doing so much rnd on it then why hurry when it comes to your partner.
    I like how you are using the song titles as your title for the challenge.. Very impressive
    Happy blogging

  12. Nice thoughts Reema, Its a boon to get a person who will take you as you are and not change you according to his choices. all the best for getting one like that
    Launching SIM Organics
    * http://www.simpleindianmom.in/organic-vegetable-garden-i-atozchallenge-i-aprila2z *
    *SimpleIndianMom*

  13. I hope he gets to read this 🙂 Well done, Reema! I love how you use the song titles to the post.

  14. sanchwrites says:

    Ah yes, the great marriage debate in your twenties. I got sick of people asking me when I was planning to “settle down” when I visited India in my twenties. I would tell them I’m settled — I have a house, a job, a car, good friends, cats —I didn’t need anything more. Did that suit them? Nope. They’d pester me more. I told people too that if and when I’m ready I’ll get married. I’m 33 now and given that I haven’t visited India for 6 years, I haven’t had anyone pester me!

  15. kalaravi16 says:

    Ahh, wish I had thought of writing this one! Respecting choices without gender bias is something all marriages could do well to adapt to. Keep ’em coming Reems!

  16. Neha says:

    True that! Love some, live some and then respect more should be the shared mantra

  17. deepagandhi says:

    Haha..Exactly like my 20 year old self..I had similar questions too. Your marriage is everybody else’s business except you. Hope you find somebody who will love you for who you are 🙂

  18. This is an incredible read Reema, are you guys listening..this is how it ought to be!

  19. jan says:

    Enjoyed reading it Reema!

  20. Lovely letter… this needs to be shown to the paramour when the time comes (way before the wedding!)
    Godyears.net

  21. vinodinii says:

    Twenty years ago it was the same scenario. And it is still the same. Things have not changed much in all these years here in India. I love the last paragraph that you have written to your would-be spouse. You should frame it and hang it in your new house for him to be reminded when he forgets it. 😛

  22. Reema, what an outpour of honest emotions, completely agree with each line of post. God knows who decides the age limit ….

    Cheers
    AuraOfThoughts

  23. Shilpa Garg says:

    Hope men read this and your future husband reads it too. It’s time our society goes for a complete change in its mindset and attitude towards women.

  24. Dear future husband of Reema – You be you, let her be her. Enough said.

  25. Hope all to-be husbands read this. Marriage is much stronger with equal contribution and shared responsibilities.

  26. Parul Thakur says:

    That Trainor’s video is awesome. I loved it so much when it was released it watched it multiple times. In India, marriage is a goal. That’s the ultimate thing to happen to a 20 something in people’s opinion. And that’s what matters, isn’t it? 😉

  27. […] writing Dear Future Husband the most and I struggled with X. Whole April was really hectic for me because of the challenge […]

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